Here's What I Know.

Family Selfies are not a perfect science.....but here we are!

I read an article the other day about what mommas before me DIDN’T warn me about.  

It talked about all the things that you are warned about when  you’re pregnant (no more “me” time, no more alone time with your husband, puke/spit up always on your shirt, always being tired, no time to wash your hair or shower, etc).  

But what about all the good stuff?  Well, the mommas before me always told me “you’ll see” – even my own momma ingrained this saying into my head “you’ll know when you have your own.”

So I started to think on that a bit….and, boy, do I know now.  Literally.

I know about a love that I didn’t even know existed.  You guys remember how much I loved my dogs, Damien and Daisy?  I used to compare that love to what my other friends knew about having children.  The truth is – you have no idea until you have your own.  NO IDEA, people.  I know I’m preaching to the choir, but it’s so nice to be able to look at other mommas and know that they know that same love too.

I know about a joy that makes my heart explode every time I watch a toddler tee ball or toddler basketball game....even if it's total chaos!

Or that joy when your infant son “finds his feet” – whoa!

"uhm, hey lady - did you know that I had two of these things??"

I know my heart smiles when Jack wants to “send Meme a meem mail on the puter”….

Or when Jack “MAgot” something (i.e., forgot)…  “Momma – you magot my iPad!”

I know about my OWN excitement when Jack asks me to play with him (“Mom – you play supa hewoes?”)….or the energy that runs through the house when DAD and Jack play supa hewoes.

....and the joy of Beau trying to figure out what is going on!

I know that horrific feeling of being a “non-present” parent when my three year old says “you put phone down.”

I know about pain and hurt when my child hurts.  It's like no other feeling.  Even the smallest of things that concern him - concern me.  We gave up the pacifier for good....and it's been REALLY going well.  He only mourned the loss for a night (no tears, just sad faces and concern).  I mourned it with him as he said goodbye to this object that represented his infancy.

Now, if he'd just sleep again.  That would be neat.

(Is he the only kid that talks to himself and his stuffed animals for HOURS before passing out??)

I know of no bigger frustration than when your toddler talks back….or YELLS back.  

*do not smack the child*  

*walk away from the child*

I know the true feeling of "momma bear" when bigger kids pick on Jack.  He tends to fend for himself just fine, but I have to hold back every ounce of my being not to hurt a little kid for hurting MY little kid.

(Lord, give me the patience and strength)

I know of true rage (and comedy) when that same three year old makes his "angry face" at me by scrunching up his nose and putting his hands on his hips and tells me "you're not in charge, momma!"

*never let them see you laugh when you're supposed to be serious*

I know of no bigger confusion than my toddler who doesn’t mind sitting in a dirty diaper.  Here’s the thing (that you already know): until they care about NOT sitting in a dirty diaper, there really is no potty training…….  We tried the other way around and he trained us to ask him or take him potty every 45 minutes.  That worked REALLY well, but the one or two times I “magot” to set the timer – he just went in his pants….and he didn’t mind.  SO.  When he’s tired of that, he’ll have to let me know.  I hope it’s prior to his 15^th birthday.  

I know about the feeling of RELIEF that these two boys of mine love each other (for now?).

  

I know about a happiness that transcends all of the negative things I was told about having babies.

I know about a love for a man that makes it all work for our family.  That love has strengthened over the years as we’ve added to our family and I see the way that he takes care of us all.  We may not have a typical family.  I don’t think we WANT a typical family.  We may not do it the way your family does it.  But, it works for us….and our family, careers and lifestyles.  

People have funny reactions when I tell them that I travel.  Yes, I travel for my job.  I find that it gives our family a nice balance.  Seriously!  I know that my awesome husband needs a couple of days without me in his ear…..a couple of days with his boys and no momma around to make a mountain out of every molehill or scratched knee.

I get lots of reactions about how we may or may not be feeding Beau, so I want to say…..  Yes.  I travel.  And I pump milk for Beau 7 times/day while I’m on the road.  I freeze it and I take it through TSA security without issue and we use it without fail.

Is it hard?  Yes.

Is it worth it?  Yes.

Did I over think it and stress out about it to the point of creating a “breastfeeding tracker?”  Yes.

Do I worry about it all? Yes.

Will I be glad when he’s a year old and I stop breastfeeding?  I’m not sure.  Maybe.  Maybe not.  We will cross that bridge when we get to it.  I will likely mourn that loss just like I did when Jack moved on from breastfeeding at 13 months.

I know about a desperate need to find balance that works for me and my love and partner in crime, Matt.  We take it day by day – and only plan a couple of weeks in advance so as to keep the calm.  I travel Tuesday-Thursday right now and Matt’s mom comes down to help with the kiddos while I’m away.  This allows Matt some balance in the mornings/afternoons for work.  It’s hard right now, but once Beau is a little older, can sit up and eat more solids – it’ll get easier.  I don’t want to wish this time away though….because I know I’ll want it back in an instance.  I may not enjoy the stress of Monday mornings, but I sure love all the smiles, giggles and good times on Saturdays and Sundays.

I know that my heart will never be the same.

-------------------------

From our latest Disney Trip:

  

Both the boys had a "birthday" this month....Jack turned THREE and we celebrated with lots of family and friends at the Zoo.  He had a blast and decided to only eat icing for an hour.  He was awake for days.

 

We flew on Jack's ACTUAL birthday so he wore his hat and his shirt and got LOTS of attention from the pilots and flight attendants.  He was so proud!

And, our little Beau Bear made it 4 whole months with the circus and I think he has decided that he likes us.  We sure do love that kid!

There's Always Something, but We Love It

Sweet #BabyBeau

It's almost that time.....that time when I return to the real world, and, (GULP) work.  Yes, yes, yes...I'm returning to work soon and the reality is coming hard and fast.  EEEEEEK.  It's one thing to make a family of four work when one parent is solely at home....I *feel* like it's another thing to do it while both parents work full time jobs.  Plus, Jack is now getting into some extra curriculars, so it's getting complicated.  Have we discussed his tee-ball skills?  No?  Check it out:

Total Yankee material...like immediately, right? 

That's what I was thinking too.

He starts basketball next month....and I can't WAIT to see him dribble the basketball.  O-M-G.

Meanwhile, we've made the most of maternity leave with Disney fun, Seminole games, Halloween outings and a trip to Pensacola.  Here's how it all ended up:

Beau's first encounter with the Minnie Mouse.

Becky and Beau at Disney

Jack's approach to meeting Jake.  Have you ever seen anyone more excited??

 

My mom made this trip with us....and it was definitely a full day of activities, meltdowns and typical Disney good times. :)  Notice who's holding the map?  Always trying to be in charge.  I wonder where he gets that amazing trait.  #LeanIn, kid....#LeanIn.

During our trip to Pensacola in November, Jack was definitely in for a lot of new experiences.  First up, was picking cotton.  It took us a long time to explain what cotton was, why it grew there, why it was white, why the big tractors picked it, why it was rolled into big rectangular bails, why we couldn't take it all with us and what it was used for.  It was both entertaining and exhausting.

This was AFTER we convinced him to just GET OUT OF THE CAR.

We did NOT have to explain much about the Veteran's Day Parade.  He loves a good parade and he took right to that concept, complete with marching bands and beauty queens throwing candy.  Small town life.  Love it.

Then, there were tractor rides....

....there were boat rides...

...and a little "earning your keep"...

This video about sums up our time at Camp Mayo:

We also met my Dad, Sharron, Lisa, Brian, Leah and Baby Jett at the Pensacola Naval Aviation Museum.  The place is awesome and if you have a little three year old with a lot of energy...it can help burn off MULTIPLE hours of steam.  Seriously.  Jack ran, jumped and climbed on everything for about 2.5 hours.  And when he wasn't moving...he was asking questions about the planes.  Again, both entertaining and exhausting.  I'm not sure who needed a nap more....Jack or Matt?

 

 

Baby Beau and Grandaddy (my Dad).

Contrary to the pictures above, Jack was NOT Spiderman for Halloween.  He was actually "Captain Jack Sparrow"......arrrrrrrrrr!!

Here's a little gimpse as to what an (almost) three year playing looks like: 

  

He took 1/2 a second to take a selfie with Momma

As always, I've drug (dragged?) my family to as many FSU games as they could tolerate.  It's always fun once we are there...it's the coming and going that's a real pain in the ass.  Truth be told, of course.

Sometimes, we even break bread with the enemy....  Ash (Virginia grad) and us!

Beau says "We're #1!"

#NoleFam

Jack and Beau continue to do very well together.  Jack asks about Beau almost as soon as he wakes up every morning.



They continue to thrive and learn new things every day.  Jack is learning to use the potty more consistently...Beau learning to sleep more consistently.  True to form, I can only assume that I'll be changing Jack's diapers when he's 15, though.  Just like I thought he'd never walk...I just assume he'll never be potty trained either.  

The struggle is real.

99% of the time, Jack is awesome.  He's sweet, loving, compassionate, polite, caring and he's a hugger!  He hugs strangers and breaks down barriers.  He's a lover.

But that 1%?  That 1% will eat you alive if you aren't ready for it.  That 1% will blow up an entire room and change his mind on a DIME.

That 1% will tell you to "go away, momma" or "go home, meme" or "go talk to momma, dadda."

Seriously?  You can't tell me to go away, kid.  I'm going to be all up in your business for the next 50 years.  So, you better get used to it.  I'm going to be all over more than just how much sugar is in your juice box.  I've got something for that 1% bipolar terrorist/jerk thing you've got going.....so watch yourself, kid.

That struggle?  It's FOR REAL.

Beau is getting better about sleeping, but at 15.5lbs and only 3 months old....he's just hungry all the time.  The doctor says "oh he can make it 8 hours without eating" -- right, lady.  Come on over at 3am when I've stuck the pacifier back in his mouth for the 400th time....and he subsequently throws it at me and tells me to sit down in the rocking chair.  He's in 6 month clothes and I'm anticipating the introduction of solid foods soon as I'm praying that will tide him over through the night.  

The struggle is real.

It's always  something, right?

Jack at 6 months.....Beau at 3 months.  Same sleeper...same sweet smile.

Beau had his first cold .... and his first experience with the nasal aspirator or "snot sucker" as we call it in the biz.  The parenting biz.  I think Beau is still giving me a little bit of the cold shoulder for that thing, but oh well.  It's an ancient tool, but it works.  He's still happy and thinks he's so big....trying to stand up constantly!

11-27-2014

This is sort of how the evenings roll around here....notice that Beau doesn't even flinch when Jack is yelling.  God love him....he's in for a real treat when he figures out that his big brother is a bozo.

(don't worry, there's no full frontal nudity in this one)

SO, we tackle 2 kids and 2 full time working parents (one that travels each week) starting next week.  I don't travel until the new year, but it's going to be a lot to handle for a few months until Beau is a little bit older.  Matt and I are a team though and we are ready to take on the challenge.  Sometimes the good comes with the bad and that's just life.  Making our careers work with a family is a priority for both of us, so we work at it every day.  Anything worth having or experiencing is worth working for ..... because there's always something to worry about, plan for, overcome and/or enjoy!  

In the meantime, coming to a mailbox near you:

 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Next Up:  The Holiday Run Down & How We Are I Am Surviving My Return To Work.