How to Grow a Schneider: The Dondi & Matt Way: Confession Wednesday: I Needed to Make a Change.

Confession Wednesday? Is that a thing? Well, now it is….so here goes:

You already know this, but I gained some weight when I was pregnant with Beau. I gained more than I needed to and more than I should have because it came off so easily after the first pregnancy.

Six months after Jack was born I was 5lbs away from my pre-pregnancy weight. 5 lbs is not a lot therefore, I didn’t focus on it.

Then, Matt looked in my direction and I got pregnant with Beau.

Fast forward to January of this year when I returned back to work….and I was now 10 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. The FIRST pregnancy.

But somehow, most of my clothes fit (although differently, let's say) except for this one section in my closet. The size 6 section. I kept that section because I knew one day, I’d be tired enough of buying new pants that I’d do something about it.

And then it happened. We got the pics back from Beau’s 1 year old photo session. And I saw this:

Yep. It's a beautiful photo of my incredibly cute family. That's not what I saw though.

I zoomed in on the picture and said “who is that?” – WHAT is going on with my face and my arm?! I looked at Matt and asked (demanded) – “IS THIS WHAT I LOOK LIKE? I don't feel like my face looks like that in real life. Is this for real?? This isn't real.”

Poor guy…he just stared at me with a blank look “Babe….You grew two people inside of you! I love you no matter what”

No. No. No. No. No. No.

I KNOW they grew in side of me....but I bounce back from these things (uhm, pregnancy?) fairly well. Or I did.

This is not what we agreed to. If I was to bear the children, I was to maintain pre-pregnancy status post children arrival. These were the rules that I made.

I didn’t feel like I looked in the photo. I felt embarrassed and sad. And tired and unhealthy. And FAT.

Yep. I finally felt FAT. So, there you have it -- in all my vulnerable glory.

And then?

I snapped.

I literally - right then - texted my friend Kristi at StrongEight Performance….and I told her my story. I was an college athlete for God's sake. THIS VERION OF THIS BODY IS NOT MINE.

For me, it wasn’t about anything except those pants….in that one section of the closet. I knew if I could get back there and stay there….that I would be fine. But, how hard would it be? How much time and effort would be required?

I needed the accountability. I needed someone to ask me why I thought it was acceptable to eat a cupcake for lunch. I needed someone to say “did you workout today?” and guilt me into doing it when I wanted to make an excuse.

"FIX THIS" .....I told her.

And she did. And I did. And it’s done.

I’m on day 90 of this journey to a healthier lifestyle. It’s actually surprising to me, but because I feel better in about 1000 different ways.

I don’t make excuses like I thought I would. I have a demanding job, a husband and 2 toddlers. None of those qualify as an excuse.

I don’t crave the bad food like I thought I would.

I don’t feel tired and sluggish and like a need a nap all the time like I thought I would.

I don’t paleo…I don’t “cleanse”…I don’t crossfit…and I don’t diet.

I take every opportunity to move.

I take the stairs 10 flights to my office 3-4 times/day. Plan for it to take you an extra 5 minutes to get to your meeting downstairs.

I run my kids to school/daycare in a stroller or I pull them behind the bike.

I walk to and from the hotel when I’m in Detroit.

I don’t eat cupcakes for lunch.

I flip tires and swing kettle bells and attempt to do insanely hard plank position ab work.

I log every single piece of food that I eat. I do that to create the accountability. If I don’t want to log

it – then I don’t eat it. (nor drink it, for that matter)

I don't measure food. I log it. This means that I eat what I want....and at whatever quantity, but I'm AWARE of it and what I need to do in the gym to counterbalance.

I drink vodka/tonic sometimes instead of red wine.

I jump rope and bike my kids around town and race Jack around the block.

I log every single move that I make, because if I ran 2 miles – then I'm getting credit for burning those calories and I'm eating more if I want/need to.

I get in every single step that I can find – every single day. It’s like a competition with myself.

I block time on my calendar to exercise - even on Saturday and Sunday. And I don't let anyone book over that time. That's for me.

I don’t give in to peer pressure to skip workouts or eat badly.

I hang around people at work and at home that want to stay as accountable to their health as I do mine.

I don’t feel deprived of my favorite foods like cheese, nutella and Mexican food in general.

Today, I’m proud to tell you that I not only lost the 10 lbs, but I lost 15 total (so far) and I’m in those

size 6 pants and they are too big. I had a colleague ask me today if I was wearing my dad’s pants. It made me beam with pride, but also make an appointment with the tailor. (damn)