How to Grow a Schneider: The Dondi & Matt Way: Here's What I Know.

Family Selfies are not a perfect science.....but here we are!

I read an article the other day about what mommas before me DIDN’T warn me about.

It talked about all the things that you are warned about when you’re pregnant (no more “me” time, no more alone time with your husband, puke/spit up always on your shirt, always being tired, no time to wash your hair or shower, etc).

But what about all the good stuff? Well, the mommas before me always told me “you’ll see” – even my own momma ingrained this saying into my head “you’ll know when you have your own.”

So I started to think on that a bit….and, boy, do I know now. Literally.

I know about a love that I didn’t even know existed. You guys remember how much I loved my dogs, Damien and Daisy? I used to compare that love to what my other friends knew about having children. The truth is – you have no idea until you have your own. NO IDEA, people. I know I’m preaching to the choir, but it’s so nice to be able to look at other mommas and know that they know that same love too.

I know about a joy that makes my heart explode every time I watch a toddler tee ball or toddler basketball game....even if it's total chaos!

Or that joy when your infant son “finds his feet” – whoa!

"uhm, hey lady - did you know that I had two of these things??"

I know my heart smiles when Jack wants to “send Meme a meem mail on the puter”….

Or when Jack “MAgot” something (i.e., forgot)… “Momma – you magot my iPad!”

I know about my OWN excitement when Jack asks me to play with him (“Mom – you play supa hewoes?”)….or the energy that runs through the house when DAD and Jack play supa hewoes.

....and the joy of Beau trying to figure out what is going on!

I know that horrific feeling of being a “non-present” parent when my three year old says “you put phone down.”

I know about pain and hurt when my child hurts. It's like no other feeling. Even the smallest of things that concern him - concern me. We gave up the pacifier for good....and it's been REALLY going well. He only mourned the loss for a night (no tears, just sad faces and concern). I mourned it with him as he said goodbye to this object that represented his infancy.

Now, if he'd just sleep again. That would be neat.

(Is he the only kid that talks to himself and his stuffed animals for HOURS before passing out??)

I know of no bigger frustration than when your toddler talks back….or YELLS back.

*do not smack the child*

*walk away from the child*

I know the true feeling of "momma bear" when bigger kids pick on Jack. He tends to fend for himself just fine, but I have to hold back every ounce of my being not to hurt a little kid for hurting MY little kid.

(Lord, give me the patience and strength)

I know of true rage (and comedy) when that same three year old makes his "angry face" at me by scrunching up his nose and putting his hands on his hips and tells me "you're not in charge, momma!"

*never let them see you laugh when you're supposed to be serious*

I know of no bigger confusion than my toddler who doesn’t mind sitting in a dirty diaper. Here’s the thing (that you already know): until they care about NOT sitting in a dirty diaper, there really is no potty training……. We tried the other way around and he trained us to ask him or take him potty every 45 minutes. That worked REALLY well, but the one or two times I “magot” to set the timer – he just went in his pants….and he didn’t mind. SO. When he’s tired of that, he’ll have to let me know. I hope it’s prior to his 15^th birthday.

I know about the feeling of RELIEF that these two boys of mine love each other (for now?).

I know about a happiness that transcends all of the negative things I was told about having babies.

I know about a love for a man that makes it all work for our family. That love has strengthened over the years as we’ve added to our family and I see the way that he takes care of us all. We may not have a typical family. I don’t think we WANT a typical family. We may not do it the way your family does it. But, it works for us….and our family, careers and lifestyles.

People have funny reactions when I tell them that I travel. Yes, I travel for my job. I find that it gives our family a nice balance. Seriously! I know that my awesome husband needs a couple of days without me in his ear…..a couple of days with his boys and no momma around to make a mountain out of every molehill or scratched knee.

I get lots of reactions about how we may or may not be feeding Beau, so I want to say….. Yes. I travel. And I pump milk for Beau 7 times/day while I’m on the road. I freeze it and I take it through TSA security without issue and we use it without fail.

Is it hard? Yes.

Is it worth it? Yes.

Did I over think it and stress out about it to the point of creating a “breastfeeding tracker?” Yes.

Do I worry about it all? Yes.

Will I be glad when he’s a year old and I stop breastfeeding? I’m not sure. Maybe. Maybe not. We will cross that bridge when we get to it. I will likely mourn that loss just like I did when Jack moved on from breastfeeding at 13 months.

I know about a desperate need to find balance that works for me and my love and partner in crime, Matt. We take it day by day – and only plan a couple of weeks in advance so as to keep the calm. I travel Tuesday-Thursday right now and Matt’s mom comes down to help with the kiddos while I’m away. This allows Matt some balance in the mornings/afternoons for work. It’s hard right now, but once Beau is a little older, can sit up and eat more solids – it’ll get easier. I don’t want to wish this time away though….because I know I’ll want it back in an instance. I may not enjoy the stress of Monday mornings, but I sure love all the smiles, giggles and good times on Saturdays and Sundays.

I know that my heart will never be the same.

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From our latest Disney Trip:

Both the boys had a "birthday" this month....Jack turned THREE and we celebrated with lots of family and friends at the Zoo. He had a blast and decided to only eat icing for an hour. He was awake for days.