Not long ago, I watched a video (by Kerwin Rae) about how public recognition is what many professional people rank has the #1 form of appreciation. In some age groups, it ranks above a monetary gesture. At the time I was thinking that it only applied to the workplace. What I’ve learned is that isn’t true at all. It applies in all aspects of life. Work, romantic relationships, hobbies, friendships.
The other thing you should know - if you don’t already - is that I don’t like being the center of attention. It makes me uncomfortable. I’m most comfortable being in the background making YOU a star. As I think back on different parts of my life — that has reigned true so many times. It’s the reason I never wanted to be a flyer in cheerleading (besides the fact that I wasn’t nearly small enough!), but I just wanted to help make someone else the center of attention. I wanted to be the base, the spotter, the foundation that made it all happen.
This past weekend was more than I could mentally process. It actually started MONTHS ago, but it wasn't until I saw it unfold in front of me that the magnitude hit me... The magnitude of love, friendship, loyalty and care.
I've been marching through life, taking things in stride and not entirely appreciating a very important aspect of my life: my friendships. I've been taking all of that for granted. Unbeknownst to me, I've been working on connections with various people in my life by just LIVING my life in the most helpful and best way possible (failing so many times, I assure you) ...helping through the good and the bad times....celebrating the successes and learning from the failures WITH YOU as my friends. It finally dawned on me this weekend that ALL of that living matters to people. It means something. The moments matter. People remember. And what they remember is not what you said or did, but how you made them feel (thank you, Maya Angelou). As it turns out, I've made an impact on a few people....and my advice to you is to do make the effort to do the same. Go out of your way for the people you love because the ROI is beyond what you can imagine, refreshing, uplifting, fulfilling, invaluable.
I saw it first hand this weekend. 💗
When four of my best girlfriends kept hounding me ( 😃 ) about a 40th birthday party, I kept saying "no one wants to do this, y'all! no one wants to come to this! this will cost them money! this is a burden!" -- and the last thing I want to be to anyone is a burden. (nor a bottleneck nor a victim, but those are for different blog posts)
They persisted...as so many females and best girlfriends do.
I caved and conveyed my dream weekend is a family friendly weekend (so that I can see my own babies and hubby) by a beach/pool with umbrella drinks and low key, no pressure comings and goings.
From there, the weekend plan literally took a life of its own.
I was blown away that people showed up. And, they showed up with gifts, to boot (totally unnecessary but thoughtful!).
And, then, I was blown away at the level of detail -- the invitation, guest gift bags, monogrammed koozies, balloons, itineraries, a hashtag, trolley rides, poolside amenities, decorations, dinner (more on that in a few), brunch, cards, sentiments, worlds colliding in all the good ways....
Then. Then, there was dinner...at one of the best places on the beach....in a private room with more personal touches. As I suspected, there was a bit of roasting on what it's like to be my friend (i.e., some initial intimidation 😂, general pain in the ass tendencies, high expectations, a lot of tough love and forever loyalty)....but then things got personal. My friends conveyed to me - in person - what my friendship and presence in their life has meant to them. They used examples and referred to moments that I never knew stuck with them and talked about how me being "in their corner" changed parts of their lives. The love and appreciation and care and emotion showed was something that I can't compare to any other experience in my life. I had multiple come aparts over it all, but the feeling is entirely and forever mutual.
Run. Don't walk. Don't wait. Tell the people that mean the world to you that they do, in fact, mean the world to you - because we aren't promised tomorrow. We must say it now. Trust me, you will refill someone's "worth cup" - indefinitely - and provide an uplift to their spirit that is unmatched with any other gesture of kindness or public recognition.
My other advice is to let people take care of you and love you and shower you when it’s your time to be the center of attention. I fought it nearly until the moment the invites went out the door. I couldn’t be more thankful that I was strong armed into my own birthday party. I am the real definition of pain in the ass.
We should all be so lucky and so blessed to have a group of friends that make you feel the way I felt this past weekend. If you don't, you need new friends.
The words "thank you" are hardly enough to convey the magnitude of what I feel about the love shown to me this past weekend. I can only pray that I have a chance repay the feeling TENFOLD.
Nearly Everyone!
WorkFam GirlSquad
Birthday Bridesmaids
My #RideOrDie since 1978.
🔺🔺🔺
